Q: How do you tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear?
(photo from reallyfunnystuff.org)
A: When you see the bear, climb a tree. If it climbs up the tree and kills you, it's a black bear.
If it knocks the tree down and kills you, it's a grizzly bear.
Get even with a bear who raids you food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants. If that doesn't work find his favorite bee tree and steal the honey from the beehive.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada will do as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
The elastic waistband from your brother's Fruit of the Looms makes an excellent headband.
When camping, always wear a long sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight in one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
A two-man pup ten does not include two men or a pup.
A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
Did you hear about the bones they found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.
Last night was perfect camping weather; a little overcast (see moon photo).
A little rain to settle the dust and very few mosquitoes.
CeeCee's contribution to bear identification:
CeeCee's contribution to bear identification:
Hi Leenie, Cute post.... I have so many great and funny stories about our camping experience in the Smokies... We definitely have black bears there.
ReplyDeleteOne time when my oldest was a tiny one, we took him tent camping... It got colder than cold that night... I had to put the snowsuit on my baby --and bless his heart, he couldn't even move... It was one of those thick ones... But--I guess HE stayed warm. I didn't!!!! ha
I have a friend who lives in Nampa, Idaho.... Is that anywhere near you? There's a huge waterfall in Idaho which we want to see... Can't think of the name of it right now...
Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Betsy
Oh, Leenie! Thank you so much!! That painting is so lovely, I can't wait to put it up. I am a bit of a collector, so you will be in good company on my wall. I will email you right after I finish jumping up and down.
ReplyDeletePS I do admire your camping savvy. Those black bears look pretty mean to me. Then also, I saw Grizzly when I was 15 ...
Ha, funny stuff!
ReplyDeleteThe bear thing would freak me out. I've watched too much Animal Planet that involves bear attacks.
extra tip for you... if you invite Elizabeth to come along you are sure to have miserable rainy weather.
ReplyDelete(I gave up camping after the third try )
What a jolly post Leenie - I laughed all the way through.
ReplyDeleteLet's deliver anairam's prize in person! Of course I will have to take Dexter - he can go as a service dog- we will say that I am completely insane- no meds help, only the dog can keep me calm...Want to???
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen this sign about bears? Those Canadians are a funny group.
ReplyDeletehttp://youarekidding.net/img/BearSign.jpg
Too cute..that bear is charming and so is the story! I'm sure those potatoes would make nice hockey pucks over done! (lol)
ReplyDeleteI think I should come with you to deliver the painting to Anairam (then I could steal it when you weren't looking!!) I like the idea of the dog - is it because she's barking mad (I hope that's also an American expression, or my joke will have fallen a bit flat!!) I will remember your camping advice should I ever find myself having to stay in a tent because all the hotels were full!!
ReplyDeleteSo you are well...and camping!
ReplyDeleteI laugh my ass off at this, A: When you see the bear, climb a tree. If it climbs up the tree and kills you, it's a black bear.
This is what we live with but we do it pretty well (until we are eaten.)
xo
erin