STIRRUPS AND PAPER DRESSES

A little while ago I finally got myself to my doctor for one of THOSE exams.  You know, the one ladies my age are supposed to have often but put off for—okay--years.  While my doctor had me on her exam table she did some checking and found a lump in my breast, another lump on my right ovary and something suspicious in the right side of my uterus.  Ruined my day.

My doctor immediately set up an appointment with a radiologist and also referred me to a gynecologist/surgeon.  The mammogram showed a cyst that looked benign, but they wanted me back in six months to check for changes.  After two different ultrasounds below my belly button the diagnosis was:  fibroid tumors in my uterus and an ovarian cyst.  I was told they looked non cancerous, but the gynecologist said he couldn’t be certain.  I was given the choice of wait and see, or surgery. Since I wasn’t planning to use my uterus again and since fibroids run in my family, I didn’t think waiting was a good option.  I’m scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. 

The gynecologist spent a lot of time with me explaining his background and experience in surgery and some of the procedures.  He never used the word, “hysterectomy,” probably because it’s so close to the word hysterical.  He called it “reconstructive surgery” and promised to also fix some other body parts that had been pulled from their moorings during a difficult delivery of a nine pound baby a long time ago. 

I explained to my boss that I’d be out of commission for two or three weeks.  He was very sympathetic and understanding. I mentioned that I hoped I could keep the one ovary.  He asked me why I wanted to keep my ovaries.  I really wanted to ask him right then if he wanted to keep his testicles, but thought better of it.

I’m getting my head around the idea of knives cutting me while I’m unconscious and the surrendering of my internal lady parts. Since they have been on vacation for several years, I’m hoping I won’t miss them too much. My biggest mistake was looking up bilateral uterine surgery on the internet.  Way, way too much information!

So I’m back to scrubbing my house and doing what I can to keep my mind too busy to think about Tuesday.  So far I’m making good progress on the first project and failing miserably on the second.

 Maybe I’ll get some good drugs out of this.  I guess I should shave my legs.