HOW NOW COW?

The other day I took my camera out to the farms to get reference photos of some of my favorite subjects--cows. Not only am I going to show you some of my pictures but you get captions too!

A city man was driving down the road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows.  The driver, getting out to see what was the problem, noticed one of the cows looking at him.

"I believe it's your radiator," said the cow.

"No. It sounded like a fan belt," said another.

"I'd check the battery," a different cow remarked.

The man nearly jumped  right out of his city slicker britches!  He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door.  "Your cows just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms back toward the field.  The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field.  "Those cows with the black and white spots?" the farmer asked slowly.  "Yes! Yes! Those!" the excited man replied.

"Oh. Well, that's Ethel, Daisy and Flo," the farmer said turning back to the man.  "Don't pay any attention to them.  They don't know a thing about cars."

FOR SALE:  Basic cow, $300; two-tone exterior, $125; extra stomach, $100; product storage compartment, $120; dispensing device, four spigots at $50 each, $200; genuine cowhide upholstery, $225; dual horns, $75; automatic fly swatter, $60.  Total = $1,205

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

An udder failure.

I left you a present.  Hope you like pies.