Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts

Sunday, April 26, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY TWENTY SIX


NaPoWriMo PROMPT: For this prompt, you will need to fill out, in five minutes or less, the following “Almanac Questionnaire.” Then, use your responses as to basis for a poem.

The Wendigo
Whiteout

Snowing. No, a blizzard 
Five days of blizzard. 
Earl has been gone for three. 
Went off through the evergreens 
Leaving me in this reeking cabin 
With a barrel of pinto beans, 
A hind quarter of frozen moose, 
A bag of dog food, 
And two sled dogs. 

My dreams of 
Being eaten alive by wolves 
Have returned. 
Seeing those huge tracks 
By the junk cars in town 
Didn’t help. 
I’m supposed to be 
Guarding our stash of beaver pelts. 
What a joke. 

The newspaper left by 
Crazy Harlan 
Was full of conspiracies 
About poison snow. 
And an escaped llama 
That shut down the Juneau Airport. 

After he took off for Fairbanks 
I saw he’d written “I wish I was Banksy” 
On our barn wall. 
Maybe he will send me a letter. 
"The weather is fine in Cancun." 
I’ll send him a postcard of a moose. 

So I sit here dressed in layers 
Of wool sweaters and fleece 
Listening to the howling wind 
Or howling wolves 
I can’t tell. 
It’s grim. 

I cheer myself up by remembering 
Playing in the river 
When I was a kid. 
Then I think about 
The Kraken. 
And then The Wendigo, 
The cannibal monster 
That lives in the north woods. 

And what if this whole world 
Is really just a snow globe. 
And the sky is a glass dome 
And someone is getting ready 
To drop and break it?

Saturday, April 25, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY TWENTY FIVE

NaPoWriMo PROMPT: Today—off prompt


Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb

Maybe a Flamethrower Would Help

Lying to myself 
Here in my bed, 
Watching the ceiling fan 
Over my head. 
Wonder if there’s monsters? 
Should they be fed? 
What about the ghost 
In the bedspread?
All of the signs— 
Have I misread? 
All of the clever things 
I could have said.

Bogeyman waits—
Is that asinine? 
Should I get up, 
Or should I recline? 
Don’t be a baby. 
Just grow a spine. 
Hit pause. Breathe. 
I just need time. 
I will survive 
Foolish land mines. 
So many scares 
Are cured by sunshine. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY TWENTY ONE

NaPoWriMo PROMPT:  Find a poem in a language that you don’t know, and perform a “homophonic translation” on it. What does that mean? Well, it means to try to translate the poem simply based on how it sounds.

Here's my phonic translation of Heimliche Stunde by Joachim Ringelnatz--as far as I can tell it has something to do with ghostly dreams.
  

Choked and Stunned 

I’m inclined to skip church or die from dampness. 
Kind of a war against geezers. 
It’s a zoo for gibbon muttering. 
Come out, dash. Shoot back or get flogged. 
He’s going to bloomin’ blow my face off! 
Meet door songs with a squeak. 
Each labor’s got a mean fruit, 
Mean whining and mean ducks.



Here's the real poem in German

Heimliche Stunde

Ein kleiner Spuk durch due Dampfheizung ging.
Keine Uhr war aufgezogen.
Ein zu fruh geborener Schmetterling
Kam auf das Schachbrett geflogen.
Es ging ein Blumenvasenblau
Mit der Sonne wie eine Schnecke.
Ich liebe Gott und meine Frau,
Meine Wohnung und meine Decke.


Wednesday, April 8, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY EIGHT

NapoWriPo PROMPT: Peruse the work of one or more of these twitter bots, and use a line or two, or a phrase or even a word that stands out to you, as the seed for your own poem.

Crazy Man Dies*

I met a traveler dressed in camo green. 
His two vast legs had pockets down each side. 
His rifle was a cold killing machine. 
His sneering face had greenish paint applied. 

I asked him why he wore the combat gear.
“I’m hunting fuzzy wabbits in the wood,
Or maybe just a porcupine or deer..
But right now a loo would do me good.” 

I said, “You think out here you’ll find a loo?

Ask any bear around and he will say;
‘Right on the ground is where you leave your poo.
It greens the grass as soon as it decays.' " 

He wrinkled up his lip just like a king.

“If I did that may lightning strike me dead.”
A cloud let loose and struck him with a zing.
Nothing beside remains but melted lead.

*Ozymandias--(see what I did there?)


Tuesday, April 7, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY SEVEN

NapoWriPo PROMPT: Today our prompt is an oldie-but-goodie: a poem based on a news article.


Two Thousand Ducks 


At a fancy South Africa winery estate 
They’ve hired a force of two thousand ducks. 
Do they sample wine with discerning tongues? 
Do they know Sauvignons from Merlo deluxe? 



No, they join in a daily duck parade 
And march all the way to the vineyard fields. 
There they gobble up bugs and snails and pests 
To protect vine growth and improve the yield. 



They’re allowed to poop as much as they like. 
The soil is improved by the poultry muck. 
So if your Chardonnay has a hint of dung, 
Don’t turn up your nose, just blame the ducks.

Monday, April 6, 2020

NaPoWriMo--DAY SIX

NapoWriPo PROMPT: Write a poem from the point of view of one person/animal/thing from Hieronymous Bosch’s famous (and famously bizarre) triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights.


MEMENTO VIVERE 

Here is Charon. With his oar 
He rows across the River Styx. 
Ferrying dead from life to death, 
When we will meet we can’t predict. 

M's are written on our palms. 
They signify “Memento Mori.” 
To remind each living soul 
“Don't forget we all must die.” 

But also note the giant key. 
What’s ours to have is ours to give. 
Enjoy the Now.  Love and Share.
“Memento Vivere.” Remember—Live.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

NaPoWriMo- DAY FIVE

NaPoWriMo PROMPT: “Twenty Little Poetry Projects,” The challenge is to use all on the list in the same poem. Of course, if you can’t fit all twenty projects into your poem, that is just fine too! (List follows poem).


AMUSEMENT RIDE 

The moon was a balloon on the horizon 
That evening I ate the roller coaster. 
The air smelled pink and lime green. 
Becky and I wandered through the Magic Kingdom. 
Listening to the clash of carousel music and ride screams. 
“Killer,” (she called me Killer ever since 
I knocked out the giant girl with a basketball) 
“We need to ride the ‘coaster before we go home.” 
“Yes, I want to! But wait ‘til I finish my ‘dog.” 
I didn’t want to. Not at all. 
The roller coaster sighed into the dock. 
Metal shrieked against metal. 
Passengers departed in disarray on the left. 
We scrambled in on the right. 
Because my red shoes were cool I followed Becky. 
We sank into the sticky, sweaty seats. 
And were fastened down like marshmallows 
On a stick over a fire. We were toast. 
Behind us in another car I heard, 
“It’s a good day to die, y’all!” 
“Buen dia para morir!” cried someone else. 
“TAWANDA!!” yelled Becky. 
“We’re going to eat this ‘coaster for dinner!” 
I could still taste mustard and pickle relish. 
The death train jolted awake. 
Was I hearing the clacking of the track? 
Or my pounding heart? 
We eased straight up the first hill. Then… 
A moment of silence for those about to die. 
Instantly the hungry earth was rushing toward me. 
Suddenly the sky was swirling under my feet. 
I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth 
To prevent an out-of-body experience. 
The coaster charged around a curve 
Pinning me down like a displayed bug. 
“Wow, fun, huh, Killer?” Screamed Becky. 
I barfed a little in my mouth 
But kept the hot dog from surfacing. 
Two more hills and we headed for home. 
Killer is not a killer now. Killer needs a new nick. 
The air smelled brown and olive green. 
Yeah, I ate up the roller coaster 
But I didn’t spit it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.      Begin the poem with a metaphor.
2.     Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
3.     Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
4.     Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
5.     Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
6.     Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
7.     Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
8.     Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
9.     Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
10.  Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
11.   Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
12.  Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
13.  Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
14.  Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
15.   Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
16.  Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
17.   Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
18.  Use a phrase from a language other than English.
19.  Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
20. Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

NaPoWriMo-DAY FOUR

NaPoWriMo PROMPT: Write a poem based on an image from a dream. We don’t always remember our dreams, but images or ideas from them often stick with us for a very long time. 


LOVE SONG 

Alfred seemed a little weird. He said things that were deep. 
He told me he heard mermaids when he walked down by the sea. 
So, one night without the moon, when my eyes wouldn’t sleep, 
I decided to go out and see if they would sing to me. 

Wearing just a t-shirt and my white pajama pants 
I stumbled out the door into the wild and windy dark. 
I think I was awake or maybe walking in a trance. 
I remember running from a dog--at least I heard him bark. 

The sand was cold between my toes. The wind tore through my hair. 
The sea was wild with crashing waves and white with foaming spray. 
Like tresses blown from horses manes they tossed into the air 
And then would thunder to the beach to hiss and fade away. 

I thought that I heard voices, maybe music, maybe screams 
Sea-girls wreathed in sea-weed rode the surf and called my name. 
I know it really happened. Or maybe it was dreams. 
Still, I heard mermaids singing in the darkness just the same.

Friday, April 3, 2020

NaPoWriMo-DAY THREE

NaPoWriMo PROMPT: First, make a list of ten words. You can generate this list however you’d like – pull a book off the shelf and find ten words you like, name ten things you can see from where you’re sitting, etc. Now, for each word, use Rhymezone to identify two to four similar-sounding or rhyming words. Once you’ve assembled your complete list, work on writing a poem using your new “word bank.”


It’s A Mystery 

Nigel is a pirate with an orange wooden leg
He’s not sure how it got that way. It started out as blue. 
Maybe when he bet his friends that he could drink a keg. 
Or perhaps the time he downed the grog in sandy Timbuktu. 
It could have been the week he spent in foggy Montreal, 
When he dared the guys to find a use for orange paint
It might have been the third pub on the evening of the crawl 
Where he soaked his leg in mango juice without the least complaint. 
He knows it wasn’t Paris where he didn’t tip the waiter, 
Or the night in Louisiana when he bought bones from a witch
But it could have been that time retreating from an alligator 
When he hid in sweet potatoes that were lying in a ditch. 
There was that day in Brisbane when he met the kangaroo. 
He fed it peas and carrots and a side of eggs and ham
Things were going well until it ate his only shoe
Nigel may have hit it with a plate of duck and yams. 
He’s tried to clean the orange off with lemon juice and toothpaste 
Which didn’t work, and neither did the Mr. Clean or soap
To try and scrub it down with rum would only be a booze waste. 
So Nigel just accepted it or probably lost hope.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

NaPoWriMo--Day One

NaPoWriMo Prompt:  I’d like to challenge you to write a self-portrait poem in which you make a specific action a metaphor for your life .

It Needs Something 

My life is a bad movie. 
Not much drama, 
Lacking in plot.
A lot of stale jokes, 
I do my own stunts. 
Then there’s an earthquake. 
It snows. 
And a moose wanders 
Though the yard. 
I need to get new writers.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

TOTALITY

I finally put together the story of The 2017 Eclipse from our house.  Thanks to Cindy and Ann for sharing photos.


There were twenty people in our back yard -- give or take five or six – on the morning of August 21, 2017.

Gordon had a Dutch oven full of riblets he was barbecuing for lunch.

Bob had his smoker ready for another rack of ribs.

I was working on getting a once-in-a-lifetime photo or two.

And everybody had their stare-at-the-sun glasses.

EVERYBODY. Some even had more than one pair.

Then at around ten a.m. we could see the shadow of the moon cut a notch out of the sun.

It was super exciting.

The neighbors brought over a shamrock plant to see if it would fold up like it does when evening comes.

Time passed.

And the moon and sun moved more.

We continued to watch.

However, it was difficult to tell if everyone was truly focused on the event.

We put paper down on the grass so we could watch for the eclipse shadow bands https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_bands
and also use it to show up the effect of our pinhole cameras.

We began to notice a weird darkness and there was a marked cooling of temperature.

The light shining through openings such as tree leaves turned from round to crescent.

Bob and Gordon kept one eye on the sky and the other on the barbecue.

Some tried looking through Gordon’s welder helmet to see what that was like.

Most were glad to pose for a “look amazed” photograph. Some, not so much.

The sky got darker and the air got cooler.

Almost totality!

Darker, colder. The shamrock started to fold up. The street light came on.

Cindy yelled, “shadow bands!” and then,

The Diamond Ring! We could see stars!

I was so excited I took two photos of total darkness before I remembered to take off the filter.

Corona

Solar flares

And in less than two minutes the sun began to reappear.

Then the sun and moon began to part ways.

The ribs were ready and so was the Dutch oven cobbler.

Warm sunshine returned.

The table was spread.

Everyone helped themselves to the picnic.

Nobody went hungry.

John and his friend stopped by. They’d chosen the rim of the Menan Butte to see the show. They’d also seen the shadow rushing across the land toward them.

After totality most out-of-towners hurried to leave hoping to beat the crowds so the highways turned into parking lots.

John, and Ann and her family tried to get to Utah but traffic south was bottle-necked into a crawl. The Simiskeys gave up and went back to stay overnight with Cindy in Idaho Falls. They made the trip to Logan the next morning just fine. 

John and his friend hung in for the duration and didn’t get to Salt Lake City until after midnight.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

National Poetry Month Day Thirty

Prompt:  Artist Max Ernst was one of the pioneers of the Dada and Surrealism movements.  Be inspired by some of his painting titles (use the titles directly in your poem, in  part, or just be inspired in a surreal way): the fireside angel, eye of silence, birth of a galaxy, everyone here speaks Latin, murdering airplane, the wavering woman, two children are threatened by a nightingale, dream and revolution, totem and taboo.


Eliot Phone Home
Two Children Are Threatened by a Nightingale

As long as old men sit and talk about the weather
Measuring out their life in wind speed and temperature
As long as old women in the room
Come and go talking about old men
I’ve had this overwhelming question.
I lift and drop the question on my plate
Like a wavering woman
Do I dare? And Do I dare
Disturb the Birth of a Galaxy?
And how should I begin?
I grow old… I grow old…
And I won’t come back from the dead
To answer...
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
And if hell is cold
Then Mars ain’t the kind of place to send your kids
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
Here it’s just my job eight days a week.
And now where’s their Dada?
They’re burnin’ up my shoes with aerosol.
Yes, there will be time to murder and create.
Before the taking of tea and toast.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

National Poetry Month Day Twenty

Prompt:  Write a poem in which you incorporate two outlandish lies.  These “lies” can be untruths about you (the poet) or they can be historical or contemporary.  For example:  “The South won the Civil War.”



—But Maybe

The squirrels we see in park and yard
Seem hardly worth remote regard.
Fuzzy, cute and scatterbrained
They keep a canine entertained.

But in the trees they’ve hatched a plot
To vanquish us without a shot.
And so beware the evil squirrels
Because they plan to rule the world.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

National Poetry Month Day Eighteen

Prompt:  For the title of your poem complete the following:  “what if?” and structure your poem so that it contains three stanzas of any length in which you explore your “what if.”  In the first stanza, mention a famous poet and a type of flower or plant.  In the second stanza, mention the title of a book and a word that starts with “z.” In the final stanza, reference a musical instrument and use a simile:  ____ is like a _____.”


What if Lewis Carroll's Rabbit Took Lucy on a Date?

She wore kaleidoscope diamonds and cellophane flowers
He wore velvet and waistcoat of finest brocade
She came in a newspaper taxi to meet him
“You’re late.” Then he smiled, “Let us join the parade.”

Down the tunnel they tumbled in a dream sort of way
Past bookshelves and marmalade colored like sky
They blundered like zombies on into The Shining
To a party where wild things danced on a pie.

Bald guys with big eyes played didgeridoos
“Do you like it?” said Rabbit as he took her hand.
“Oh yes,” replied Lucy with stars in her eyes,
“Like a wonderful nightmare and Custer’s Last Stand.”

Sunday, April 9, 2017

National Poetry Month Day Nine

Prompt:  Write a poem completely made up of dialog or an overheard conversation.  Extra credit—mention a recipe by name and/or the name of a saint.


Somewhere in Wyoming

Road trip day five.
Burger King somewhere in Wyoming.
Overheard from the next booth.

“I got this video to watch tonight.
Eddie get those fries out of your nose.
I’d seen it before
But it was on sale at Walmart.”

“Yeah we have that one.
I’ve watched it over and over,
And that is the STUPIDEST movie.”

Saturday, April 8, 2017

National Poetry Month Day Eight


Prompt:  Write a poem that uses one of the following as a first line. “Because the earth’s axis is tilted by 23½ degrees…” or “Because the sun will fade into a in a billion years…”  or  “Because only 59% of the moon’s surface is visible from Earth…” Allow your poem to be cosmic and galactic but include a few ordinary household items.


A Great Disturbance in the Force

“Because the Earth’s axis
is tilted by 23½ degrees
and I didn’t allow for it.”
That’s what my dorky brother said
When his toy rocket
shot into the chicken coop
and one of the chickens landed
in the cow trough
so the cow jumped the fence
and ran through the garden
tipping over the wheel barrow;
scaring the cat
so she jumped on the dog
then they ran through
the clothesline
and pulled down the sheets
which surprised me
and I stepped on my hat
and kicked the dog
and got in trouble.
Then Mom assigned me
To clean the bathrooms.