SHOPPING FOR THE LADIES

1960's magazine ad "I dreamed I posed for a Fashion Ad in my maidenform bra."

My last post would have you thinking I love to shop. Quite the opposite. That poetry was the product of a long-ago writing class. The first one was an attempt at a poem with a double meaning. I posted them to stall until my brain recovered from the weekend with house full of people I love. Anyway, to me shopping is a chore. I purchase things such as clothing only when necessary and when alone. I refuse to subject others, especially guys, to waiting in an uncomfortable chair outside a store dressing room, thumbing through a worn issue of Is Martha Stewart Living? while I stand in the stall and stare at my sorry self in a mirror.

The most dreaded item on my clothing list is a brassiere. Because I hate this shopping task with passion, I have rules about the job that help ease the misery.

• Buy quality. I don’t want to do this any more often than necessary.
• Because quality is expensive buy only two—one to wear and one to wash.
• Keep the old ones until certain the new ones won’t try to kill me (like the underwire one that tried to stab me while I was standing in line at the bank; or the one with four hooks that tried to take a bite out of my back; or the other underwire one that almost got me strip-searched at airport security). I don’t wear underwires any more.
• Always try them on. Even if, by some miracle, I find the same brand and size when I return two or three years after the last purchase—there is no guarantee they will still fit the same. Things change.
• Since there are always a thousand kinds to choose from; take as many varieties of the estimated size into the dressing room as possible at once. Bribe the sentry at the door if necessary. I don’t want to expose my saggy white ladies to store air conditioning in a public place any more often than necessary. Of course this is where a shopping buddy would be helpful. But I am too inhibited to expect someone else to assist, especially with this one.
• When a bra is finally selected, have a second choice since there will only be one of that kind and size in the store.
• Take care of those objects of torture. Even though I would be sold for hamburger if I were a dairy cow, I still need something to stop the flapping. So keep the bras clean and in some state of repair until, alas, the purchase of new ones becomes necessary.

1960's magazine ad, "I dreamed I went to blazes in my maidenform bra."

Family FYI--went w J Poleline-Millhollow. He beat me on the hills. I took a short cut and got the light on Main and beat him home. Heh. I also beat my old time by 3 min! Need a nap.

POINT OF PURCHASE

SHOPPING AROUND

Searching for new shoes is glorious.
There are so many choices.
What fun to try out all sorts.
Many are attractive, though some pinch,
Or hold on too tight.
A few leave the wearer wobbling
Or even tilt her into a gutter.
The best are still those
That don’t need much breaking in
And even with much wear
Give comfort.




SOME THINGS YOU BUY

Some things you buy
And some you try,
And some you ho
And hum at.

An important part
Of being smart
Is knowing
What you’re dumb at.

WHERE'S THE KABOOOM!!?

Our Family Fourth gathering is over. All our guests have gone home. The guys blew up every kind of kaboom they could get their hands on.

The boys took care of the smoke bombs and black snakes.

The big guys lit the exploders, fountains and flamers. The girls enjoyed the sparklers and glow sticks.

Plus there was the gi-normus display in the sky. When it was over our group cleaned up a whole trash can full of debris from the street. Not too environmentaly friendly, I know.

Nobody went to the emergency room. We had wonderful food. The cat has finally come out of hiding and--when I finish a few more loads of laundry, re-stock the toilet paper and find the source of the wet-diaper smell--the place will be mostly back to normal.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNITED STATES!

Our children and their spouses and their children, that can, traditionally gather at our house to celebrate the Birthday of the United States. We barbecue, picnic, roast hot dogs and eat all kinds of outdoorsy food like watermelon and potato salad.

Some run in the Liberty 5k. Some stay at the finish line to take photos. :D
We make our own parade going to Main Street

for the BIG PARADE. Back at our house we put together our own entertainment.
We play in the water. (two months out of the year, if we are lucky the weather is warm enough... so we enjoy it while we can).
We play in the water a lot!

Of course there are little fireworks,
and medium fireworks. And then we take our lawn chairs to the front yard and watch the BIG FIREWORKS going off at the fairgrounds.

And say "Thank You" to all who have given their time, their skills, their blood and their lives to make this great nation possible.

Happy Fourth of July to U.S. people everywhere!

No more blogging until this is all over and I recover from all the partying.

DRAMA IN THE YARD-

I'm not sure why crows hate squirrels. Perhaps squirrels rob crow nests for eggs and babies. Anyway, crows routinely attack our neighborhood squirrels. The following event happened while I was trying to read on the porch last Sunday. I had my camera ready, and the book was a little dry. The action in the yard was much better.