Sunday, November 2, 2008

STUFF I'VE LEARNED part 1

Since my memory has always been bad and is getting worse, I began keeping a list of valuable information that I usually learned the hard way. And, although some mistakes are too fun to only make once, there are others that are best not repeated. Below is a portion of that list. As you can guess there is a good story to go with some of them. But this is a blog so I will not elaborate at this time.

*Don’t run with a Tootsie Pop in your mouth *Never let your mother comb your hair while she is angry *Don’t turn on the vacuum cleaner while you are holding the cat *Riding in a convertible with the top down on a warm day is more fun than riding in the back of a pickup truck with the dogs *A good paper grocery bag will hold water just long enough for you to drop it off the roof on your brother *Odds of bad things happening increase with darkness and heat. *Don’t eat Junior Mints during a long car trip (especially if you are wearing light colored pants) unless you can be absolutely certain you won’t drop any on the car seat *Drink all your lemonade before eating your cake *The ten second rule does not apply at the beach *Don’t wait until it stops snowing to shovel the driveway *It is impossible to improve and look good at the same time. And sometimes the harder you try, the more stupid you look. *Never let your husband trim the hedge with a chainsaw *When you are really alone…you can sing as loud as you want * When you sing as loud as you want—you scare the cat.

6 comments:

Candee and Weston said...

I can relate to the shoveling the driveway, in Rexburg, you would never find your way out the front door if you waited until the snow stopped to shovel.

Brian Cooper said...

Some lessons you can learn by watching others. Such as:
* If you are trying to pour water from the roof onto someone, a jug with a small mouth is a bad choice.
* if you are a dog, lower your tail when you run under the electric fence.
* if you are a city kid visiting your country cousin, and the country cousin tells you that a fence is electric, you ought to believe him, even if it doesn't look like it.
* sometimes, the critter sitting on the nest in the dark is a skunk, not a hen.
* plugging up the culvert under the road so you can have a deeper swimming hole makes the farmer downstream mad.
* practical jokes that involve waking up your sister at 4 a.m. aren't funny the way you planned.

leenie said...

to Brian--yes to all of those! haha. Only in my case we actually changed the headgate dam to make a great swimming hole in the canal. Cliff Davis reeeeally gave us the whatfor. When we confessed to Dad...he tried not to laugh. Hey, I am still not sorry I threw your tape recorder out the window.

Brian Cooper said...

Hmmm. I also remember someone blocking off the culvert by the house - first with boards, and later with a large pile of baling wire. Dad had to get the tractor to pull it out. Messing with irrigation water is a serious offense in these parts.

And it wasn't MY tape recorder... I was just an interested bystander. Besides, it was the clock that went out the window -- waaaay out; the tape recorder survived the experience although the reel of recording tape did not, if I recall correctly.

Runningspider said...

My own addition:
-Dont put sugar in your brother's bed and tell him it was the "sandman" (cubbard duty)
-Do throw liver down the stairs ... even the cat won't eat it.
-Toilet papering the neighbors in the daylight gets you cubburd duty(again).
-Brothers eat anything you will feed them...once (twice if you call it something else)
- and finally... Do unto your parents as you will have your children do unto you....

Kilauea Poetry said...

I appreciate your thoughts and and reflections- have a great day!
Regina