Tuesday, October 6, 2009

TWO A.M.

As usual I’m lying in the dark looking up at the ceiling fan listening to DH snore. My brain is working overtime distressing over impending doom, disaster, tsunamis, earthquakes, morons in places of power, financial crisis—like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel, like a snowball down a mountain... STOP! Wait.

Last Saturday we traveled 620 miles on Interstate 15, and although we saw a few fools behind the wheel, nobody tried to kill us. I spent some cuddle time with a Very Important Five-year-old snuggled under one arm while a Very Important Eight-year-old drew pictures and expounded on the good guys and bad guys in one of his video games (still a little confused on that one).

When it was my turn to drive, for once, it did not rain torrents or blizzard. And when, in the dark in the middle of nowhere, I saw blue and red lights in my rear view mirror I was cruising five miles under the limit. When the guy with the Smokey Bear hat shined his flashlight in my eyes he had a friendly face and just wanted to tell us our taillights were out and we should proceed with our hazard lights on. A few miles later we pulled into a well-lit service station and, because of a minor melt-down involving pulling too much power from the dash lighter a few weeks earlier; DH knew where the fuses were in our newish car. And there was a new fuse just the right size. We were on the road in minutes taillights blazing.

All was well at home when we returned except the cat demanded we open a can of food. The dry stuff wasn’t doing it for him.

Yes, the hole can get big and dark and scary, but there is still a donut around it.

11 comments:

The Weaver of Grass said...

Things always seem much worse in the middle of the night, don't they?

Anairam said...

Oh, Leenie, I love the hole and the donut image! I am a master at seeing (and worrying about) the holes. Sometimes I see two or three per donut. If I can't fall asleep at night I try meditating the holes away but that rarely works - they kind of turn into swirling hallucinogenic black pits that threaten to swallow me. I'm probably not doing the meditating thing correctly. Or perhaps it is because I'm not sitting up straight. (Re. the hands drawing - very easy - I traced the outline of my hand, close-fisted as well as open, and then just filled in the lines - skipping the wrinkly bits and age spots, of course. Re. the china - too much stuff page - was not meant as a criticism of China, I have great respect for a country that can get itself together and become an economic giant within decades through sheer willpower and hard work. Was really meant as a criticism of my page (really too much stuff), and also of myself (and others) as consumers of unnecessary goods, just because they are available and affordable. It would be interesting to tell you how exactly this page evolved - but I fear that as with dreams, it really only interests the dreamer and bores everyone else.)

DayPhoto said...

I love the photo of the old store. Do you do showings? I think I asked you that once before. If not you should.!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

Janie said...

I'm always lit up at night after a long drive, or a social event... or after almost anything except a quiet couple of hours of reading.
I worry about most of those same things.
Sounds like your trip went pretty well, though. Maybe tonight you'll be relaxed (or exhausted) enough to sleep...

jeanie said...

I too love the donuts analogy!!

Right now I am in a non-insomnia phase and LOVING it.

Thank you for taking us on your journey - it was longer than ours!!

Pam said...

The donut and the hole eh! Doing Taoist Tai Chi helps my anxiety levels, though no-one would expect you to jump up and do that in the dark hours.The Taoist philosophy is to "reside in the centre" of that hole letting everything whirl around in the donut part.Hope that helps. Actually it's made me want to eat a donut with my morning cuppa.A little one with chocolate icing.

ELIZABETH said...

I have a terrible habit of "what iffy" things. I'm going to think donuts now when I start getting carried away.

Linda Sue said...

I must not have done this right- I left a comment but it vanished- maybe it was inappeopriate or misspelled or in a language no body understnads, that happens a lot with me...Love LOVE your painting- I could learn so much from you- Hey I know Why don't you move here!!! So sorry about your dear brother. Sounds hellacious...because it is. I send wishes.
I didn't know your boys were SO young! WOW you are a wonder!!!

Linda Sue said...

Oh and I will have a donut please- no hole- I guess that would be a bismark...anyway, I would like to have one please....

Krazycara said...

I love this one it made me laugh and thank you for hte reminder tha tthere is still adonut around our pit of impending doom.;)

Woman in a Window said...

I like this, focus on the positive, and get a big glass of milk to go with that donut!
xo
erin