Every office I’ve ever worked in has at least one perky lady who owns a little fuzzy pet, wears sparkly earrings, and knows everybody’s birthday. When the calendar reaches the middle of November (and especially if we’re blessed with snow at the same time), Miss Perky gets all excited to hear all Christmas music all the time. She even has a stack of CD’s in her car so she can hear fourteen different versions of The Little Drummer Boy. Every office has one.
The office radio is turned to an all Christmas music station as soon as we are back from Thanksgiving and we all get to listen to hour after hour of the following playlist:
Holly Jolly Christmas—Burl Ives (Oh, by golly have a holly jolly CHRISTMAS –mm-this YEAR.)
I’ll Be Home for Christmas—Bing Crosby (…if oooownleee in myeee DUH reems)
Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree—Brenda Lee (in a new—old—fashuned WAY!---b’dawr b’dawr b’dawr!)
Merry Christmas Darling-- Karen Carpenter (I’m Christmasing with yeeeeooooo).
Chestnuts Roasting—Frank Sinatra
Some peppy orchestra rendition of Sugar Plum Fairies
Blue Christmas—(you guessed it) Elvis (ah-ll h-ave uh-h blahloo Christmas)
Silver Bells -- Johnny Mathis (It’s Christmas tiiiiiyeeeem in the city)
Carol of the Bells—Manheim Steamroller (just shoot me!)
Sleigh Ride by another energetic orchestra with that trumpet whinny
Away in a Manger—John Denver (Nooooooo!)
Feliz Navidad—Jose Feliciano (from the bottom of my haaAhaart)
And don’t forget Santa Baby by Madonna.
Actually, I kinda like that one (…an out-of-space convertible too, light blue, I’ll wait up for you, dear …think of all the fun I’ve missed! Boo doo bee doo!)
When they’ve all played; they play again. Then I go out in the parking lot and hear them AGAIN. And just in case I've forgotten in the short drive to the gas station more Christmas music is coming from loud speakers there. And in every-single-store more Christmas music.
It tends to make me cranky. Thank heavens I have this blog where I can vent. It saves a lot of money on therapy.
Did you hear about the lady who died while ice fishing? She was run over by the Zamboni machine.
Why do the three wise men wear fireman hats? Because they came from afar.