Tuesday, January 17, 2012

THE WORDS OF THE PROPHETS ARE WRITTEN ON THE SUBWAY WALLS


Just random stuff I’ve collected from the web,
 from friends and from that Weirdo living in my head.

Valuable strategy for organizers, directors, people in charge, spouses—
“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the heck 
you were gonna do anyway.  
If caught, pretend you didn’t know 
whatever you were doing was against the rules.”  GB

Don’t you just hate leaving the house looking good (for once) 
and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.

It is difficult to differentiate between hunger and boredom.

 Makeup can make you pretty on the outside.  
But it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on inside (unless you eat the makeup).

There is just no good way to fold a fitted sheet.

Cats have poltergeist radar.

 Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

 Google Maps needs an "Avoid Scary Neighborhood" option.

I can look at my watch three times and still not know what time it is.

How come I can’t find my keys in my pocket or my cell phone in my purse
 but I can find and hit the snooze button in the dark at three feet away, eyes closed?

11 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

thanks for the laughs!~

Krazycara said...

AWESOME ! you pretty much made my day!

TALON said...

lol - I give up on even attempting to fold fitted sheets. They get bundled and quickly :)

And why is it whenever you're feeling crappy and looking crappy, that's always always when you run into someone important? (happened to me at the drugstore today...battling a flu and looking like I'm losing the war - lol)

Tom G. said...

If you really want to make people uncomfortable, act perfectly normal.

susan m hinckley said...

Hooray -- a smile! Thanks, Leenie...I needed that. Now I'm going to eat some makeup.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Smiling here..I wore no makeup and a weird hat to town to cover my bed head..saw all kinds of mucky mucks..why me??? :(

CarrieBoo said...

LOLOLOL! These are all so true! Love it.

Lippy on toast, anyone?

Elizabeth said...

Excellent quotes!

ox

Anairam said...

Hahaha, weirdos, unite! I am particularly grateful to you for letting me know that I am not hungry, I am just bored. xxx

CeeCee said...

Those are all so fun! Thanks for sharing.

Sarah said...

I love that song lyric-in fact that whole song. These are all great-the first is one of my favourites, the indifferent to your suffering cat is hilarious and the thing about elasticated sheets-I was having that very trouble last night as I tried to tidy my bedding cupboard! The strategy about not knowing it was against the rules is one of the most useful I know. I don't think I have used it many times but it is always there as a possibility-mainly at work! My other standby possibility is the thought of one day just not getting up for work, and ringing in to say I overslept. I have never actually done this, but somehow the thought of being able to do it some day makes me feel happy!