Thursday, April 26, 2012

THE LIFE OF DARK THOMAS

A blatant knock-off of 
who grapples with the despair and pain of his life.
My name is Thomas.

My domain is shadows in the sunlight.  Each day I wake to the same tedium.

I fell empty, forgotten on the floor.

I sleep for myself and no one else. My caretakers ignore me.

Yet occasionally they taunt me mercilessly.

I will seek revenge by weaving around their feet as they stand at the top of the stairs.

I am surrounded by morons.  How can they be this obtuse?

I alone feel this torment.

I punish them by sleeping in their precious flowers.

I am free to go and I defend my turf against vagrants such as squirrels and crows.

A trash-talking rogue named Jet attempted to invade, but I quickly overpowered him.

I seek refuge from this life of ennui in random abandoned containers.

Yet still I am empty.

Existence is painful.  We cannot escape ourselves.

15 comments:

esbboston said...

The one day that I thought that I escaped myself, I discovered that there were stiLL two of me left behind and I discovered that they were glad I was away for awhile.

Val said...

The full sink immersion frightens me more than a million midnight baby spiders. No good can come of that.

TexWisGirl said...

such a beauty, and oh, such angst! :)

Terry and Linda said...

He is just beautiful! And a cool cat!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

Anzu said...

Hi! Thomas ( ^-x-^)ノ
I think you are like a philosopher as telling us that we cannot escape ourselves. That's our fatal truth.

Buttons said...

He is certainly the ruler of your roost. Love him he is beautiful and pretty funny or is that you or both?? B

Elizabeth said...

An existential pussy cat and all around cool dude.
Buster would be scared of you.....
Loved your loving account of his day.

ps you are very brave to attempt the BATH....
I would have got clawed to death!

Sarah said...

Hilarious and tragic at the same time! Thanks for the lunchtime laugh!

Sarah said...

P.S. I have to put those polystyrene packaging things in a sealed bag in the bin as Tiger tries to eat them!-At least I think that is what Thomas is covered in?

Leenie said...

Weird as it seems, Thomas seems to appreciate getting bathed. His shaggy coat makes assistance in washing necessary and, over time, he seems to have developed a tolerance for an occasional shampoo. Hair dryer---not so much.

Anairam said...

Hahaha. Classic. A philosophising cat.
PS I agree with the conclusion (of the NYT article) too. And I think we have many tools and knowledge at our disposal, yet our human nature prevails. Well, that's what makes us human, I guess!

Small City Scenes said...

Creative, clever and entertaining.
The marvelous Dark Thomas.

MB

CeeCee said...

It's so true, Thomas! I think all cats who have humans in their lives suffer indignities. My cat, Hobbes, has affection forced upon him each day and tolerates it as much as possible before he is forced to bite us.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Oh Thomas you are some writer..well done..thanks for the smile..you look good in that sink..I am a cruel old woman:)

Sarah said...

I just watched the original-someone else had shared it on their blog-very funny! Thomas and Henri should meet and compare notes!