Monday, November 12, 2012

THE LEMMINGS ARE GAINING ON ME

Zombies want brains.  I'm safe.


Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe.
So basically a clown ninja.


I went for a run but came back after two minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot I'm out of shape and can't run for more than two minutes.


When posting on Facebook status, there is a fine line between, 
"What's on your mind?" and
"I should probably see a therapist about this."


"...and when you get older and have your own children and
THEY make YOU go batshit-wingnut  crazy,
I will laugh and laugh and..."


I'm not anti-social.
I just prefer not to deal with your drivel.


If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic.


I'm not short.  I'm fun-sized.


16 comments:

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

The laugh of the day....you ARE a clown ninja.

joeh said...

All good, "life gives you melons" made me snort!

Alica said...

Thanks for the good laugh!

gowestferalwoman said...

LOL A post I can relate to!

Linda Sue said...

phffft snort! If laughing makes you healthier I am a picture of good health for this past couple of minutes reading your post!

Geo. said...

Absolutely delightful!

pandchintz said...

Thank you for the giggle - you've made my day!

Anzu said...

ε-(`L_` )

laura.forestdreams:) said...

hahahahaa!! thanks for the morning laugh! i needed that...getting ready to head out to work!

Pearl said...

The sink made me laugh out loud. :-)

We've frightened the intern next to me. Score one point for us!!

Pearl

Terry and Linda said...

The last one is something I have endured..that one with cat flinging into the air...priceless!!!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com

Mel said...

oh, too funny! thank you!

Sarah said...

All good! My favourites are A whim away and those slippers! How can slippers look so evil?!

Buttons said...

Oh thank you I needed that laugh that finds it's way out of the deep buried crevices of your soul and leaps forth not to be stopped or contained. Yup I needed that. Thanks Hugs B

Anairam said...

Hahahaha!! You made my day. And also, many a true word ...

River said...

These are so funny! I laughed and laughed, just what I needed today.