Sunday, November 9, 2008


Back when Saturday Night Live was watchable... Gilda Radner did a skit as Emily Litella. Emily was a little old lady, slightly deaf, who was outraged by things she heard on the news. For example, “Why are they taking violins off television? Music is very important, especially for our children!!” Etc. Or, “What’s all this fuss about endangered feces! How can something like that be endangered? There is definitely too much of that stuff around!” Or, “Eagle Rights amendment! Since when are we giving rights to birds? They can’t even vote!”

Well, I am there. I hear things on the news and get really weird visuals. A few days ago I heard about people getting arrested for driving around school buses with the stop sign arm sticking out. I wondered why they were even letting people that stupid drive school buses. Or, maybe the bus drivers were just a little forgetful and needed the police to cut them some slack. Then I thought about it for a while….Oh, never mind.

Then, just yesterday, I heard they were shooting ducks in the lake to test their excrement for bird flu. Wow! I guess shooting ducks into a lake would sure get the excrement to come out. But what kind of cannon would you use to launch a duck into the air? And how would you collect the excrement afterwards? Got a really funny picture in my head. You’ll have to get your own. Anyway, I thought about it some more. Oh. That’s different. Never mind.


Unknown said...

ok, you almost made me pee my pants with that entry! Could that have been titled..."Blonde moments for not so blonde people"? Still giggling... ducks... canon.... and stupid bus drivers (lol) and the giggles begin again.... maybe I need more sleep....thanks for the smile!

jeanie said...

Very funny - I often have visual fun with headlines. There is an awesome current events satire show over here called "Mad As Hell" (Shaun Micallef) that often has very clever and witty plays on the news. The one this week that especially tickled me was a reported talking to an eye- (or is that ear-) witness.

Witness: I turned on the television and was taking off my pants when I heard something that sounded like a bomb going off
Reporter: It was a bomb going off
Witness: Well, that is what it sounded like
Reporter: It sounded like that because it was that.
Witness: But I didn't know that it was that when I thought that it sounded like that

and so on.