Thursday, February 9, 2012

PARAPROSDOKIANS

Paraprosdokians:  Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level
and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on my list.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Whenever I fill out an application; in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify:'  I put DOCTOR.

I didn't say it was your fault. 
I said I was blaming you.

Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a
beer gut, and still think they're sexy.

I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.

Did you put the cat out?
Why is he on fire?

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die
they'll say, "Well, he looks good, doesn't he."

I have to walk early in the morning
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

13 comments:

Buttons said...

You make me laugh thank you for that. Some of these are very true:) B

TexWisGirl said...

thanks for the laughs! :)

CeeCee said...

Oh my!! What fun those were!
Paraprosdokians sounds like it should mean: people that are from Paraprodokia. Cool new word.

Anzu said...

These break us free from the belief
I was embedded in assumptions that I was not aware of.┐(´(エ)`;)ノ"♪

TALON said...

lol! I need some and you really provided them, Leenie. I think I've finally learned that truth about the idiots.o

CarrieBoo said...

Love these! I really want to write "doctor" on my next form... and that is so true about men thinking they are sexy when they are clearly not. What is that about! I had to take my time saying that word... paprika wants to pop out.

Leenie said...

Paraprosdokian does sound like a resident of some country in Central Europe or some kind of cooking process.

But Wikipedia says it's a real word and we know Wikipedia is always right.

susan m hinckley said...

Thanks for making me laugh! Especially at myself, for being an English major who does not know that word . . . not sure what I learned in college, but it wasn't that. So thanks for teaching me something while I was busy laughing! That's the mark of a great teacher.

Alica said...

Where did you find that word? That was fun! :)

Far Side of Fifty said...

I can hardly wait to use the Doctor one:)

Pam said...

Paraproskodian does sound, as you put it, like a resident of some country in Central Europe. It lends itself well to the term " the use of the paraproskodian dialect". Thanks for your award a while ago Leenie, - it takes me a while to get around to acknowledging and passing an award on - the kind words on your post back then were much appreciated.

Anne said...

I'm still laughing- especially at the thought of such men thinking that they are sexy!!

Sarah said...

Love them all. I especially liked the one about idiots beating you with experience. That last picture of a cat is the one that was on the Christmas cards I bought this-well-last year.