HIDING

Sometimes I like to go into the forest alone.

Away from people noises--

Just the woods and the sun--

Not always safe--

Not always wise (but almost always in cell phone range).

No conversations--

--no decisions but my own.

I am--

HIDING.

Visit Linda Sue at All I Ever Wanted for more HIDING posts.

IS THAT A CHICKEN JOKE?

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and a five-year-old, and eight-year-old and I were hanging out in the living room reading from a joke book. Some jokes were not funny. Some were sort of funny when they were explained. But some sent us all into giggles; and then a retelling just to see if they would be funny again (some were). I realize this is a “You hadda be there” situation, but these are ten of our favorite jokes and riddles.

1. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

2. What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? “Ruff!”

3. (This one is funnier because two of us share a name) Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eileen. Eileen who? Eileen on your doorbell but it doesn’t ring.

4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a hamburger, I’m hungry.

5. What letters are not in the alphabet? The ones in the mailbox.

6. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? Because it is two-tired.

7. Why did the duck cross the road? It was taped to the chicken.

8. Which clown wears the biggest shoes? The one with the biggest feet.

9. What goes “oom oom”? A cow walking backwards. (this one was probably hilarious because I looked so funny saying “ooooom ooooooooom.”

10. What is a twip? What a wabbit takes when it wides a twain.

Hope this at least made you smile.

And, you may not want to admit it if you know who said, “Is that a chicken joke?”

PACKAGE DEALS

Am I the only one who gets irritated about multi-product packaging? It is SO annoying to have to purchase a bunch of stuff I don’t want just to get the one thing I do.

For example: I needed to replace the seat cover on the driver’s side of my car. The passenger seat cover was okay. I just needed one. I didn’t even care if they matched exactly. Everywhere I went—TWO seat covers in a package. All. Over. Town. Finally—FINALLY I found just one that did not look like zebra hide, or was covered with shedding fuzz, or some gosh-awful combination of colors like pink, poop brown and pyook green. The Just One went well with my passenger side seat cover. And even though it was the price of two I bought it anyway just to support the one item packaging.

How about pot holders? You know, the simple padded things to protect your hands when you pull items out of a hot oven. Could I just buy pot holders? NooOOoo. I had to buy them with oven mitts, matching table napkins (like oven mitts and table napkins would ever be seen together) and dish towels. And don’t tell me to crochet hot pads. Those things have evil holes in them that let fire through. I finally gave up and bought some ugly hot pads—without dish towels or oven mitts—at the Dollar Store. First time I washed them all the color came off. Now REALLY ugly.

Then there are shoe strings. Only need one pair just that size and color, but I have to buy three or four. And batteries and pencils and pens and soft drinks. When you’re on the side of selling a product, wrapping a bunch of things together in indestructible plastic is great idea, but from a consumer’s point of view it is just another aggravation.