Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back
You have a cough? Go home tonite and eat a
whole box of Ex-Lax. Tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are
members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
When choosing between two evils
I always like to pick the one
I've never tried before.
Mae West
Blessed are the young for they shall inherit
the national debit.
Herbert Hoover
What if Pinocchio said, "My nose will not grow"?
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
What do you do if you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
Everybody has a photographic memory.
Some of us just don't have a memory chip.