Just random stuff I’ve collected from the web,
from friends and from that Weirdo living
in my head.
Valuable
strategy for organizers, directors, people in charge, spouses—
“Listen, smile,
agree, and then do whatever the heck
you were gonna do anyway.
If caught, pretend you didn’t know
whatever you
were doing was against the rules.” GB
Don’t you just
hate leaving the house looking good (for once)
and then not seeing anyone of
importance the entire day.
It is difficult
to differentiate between hunger and boredom.
Makeup can make
you pretty on the outside.
But it
doesn’t help if you’re ugly on inside (unless you eat the makeup).
There is just no
good way to fold a fitted sheet.
Cats have
poltergeist radar.
Some days you’re
the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.
If you lend
someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Google Maps
needs an "Avoid Scary Neighborhood" option.
I can look at my
watch three times and still not know what time it is.
How come I can’t
find my keys in my pocket or my cell phone in my purse
but I can find and hit
the snooze button in the dark at three feet away, eyes closed?
