DANAE'S DILEMMA

She saw Perseus come in the door.
Another adventure, (or so he said).
He dropped his stuff all over the floor,
Tracked up the kitchen and went to bed.

This morning she cleaned his bloody sword.
His coat was ruined and cut to shreds.
Both were covered with scales and gore.
(Why can’t he get a job, instead?)

She couldn’t believe the shoes he had.
They were winged! She nearly lost her brain
When they came flying at her face.
(He’s been spending time with that Hermes again.)

He warned her not to open the bag.
That the thing inside would turn her to stone.
She told him not to worry his head.
She was paralyzed by the smell alone.

He told her about his new girl friend,
Andromeda. And—there was something weird.
He asked her to polish his shield and then…
He put on his helmet and disappeared!

TRUMPETERS

This morning my walk took me past a pond where wild ducks congregate. Lately they have been joined by noisy migrating Canada Geese. Today the quacking and honking also included the sound of a French horn. The big trumpeter swans are making their way south and a group had spent the night on the pond. Trumpeters are HUGE birds. I met one face-to-face through a fence at a zoo and he could look me square in the eye. I am short, but a five foot bird with a seven-to-nine foot wingspan is an impressive creature. In fact they are considered the largest waterfowl species on earth.

I take an afternoon once or twice a month in December and January to make the hour’s drive to see the flocks that winter on a river north of here. A few years ago they were few and far between. But in the past ten years the efforts of Fish and Wildlife people have been very successful in improving the population. They are still protected from hunting. The farmers don’t like them because their enormous webbed feet can carry disease and pests from the standing water in one field to another. I just think they are one of the most beautiful creations on earth. The trumpeter swans and the Grand Tetons make this a great place to call home.

NEVER MIND

Back when Saturday Night Live was watchable... Gilda Radner did a skit as Emily Litella. Emily was a little old lady, slightly deaf, who was outraged by things she heard on the news. For example, “Why are they taking violins off television? Music is very important, especially for our children!!” Etc. Or, “What’s all this fuss about endangered feces! How can something like that be endangered? There is definitely too much of that stuff around!” Or, “Eagle Rights amendment! Since when are we giving rights to birds? They can’t even vote!”

Well, I am there. I hear things on the news and get really weird visuals. A few days ago I heard about people getting arrested for driving around school buses with the stop sign arm sticking out. I wondered why they were even letting people that stupid drive school buses. Or, maybe the bus drivers were just a little forgetful and needed the police to cut them some slack. Then I thought about it for a while….Oh, never mind.

Then, just yesterday, I heard they were shooting ducks in the lake to test their excrement for bird flu. Wow! I guess shooting ducks into a lake would sure get the excrement to come out. But what kind of cannon would you use to launch a duck into the air? And how would you collect the excrement afterwards? Got a really funny picture in my head. You’ll have to get your own. Anyway, I thought about it some more. Oh. That’s different. Never mind.